His real name is I Kadek Astika, but the 31 year old prefers to be called Kadek Dewi, a feminine name.
Last Sunday, Kadek and thousands of Hindus attended Bale Paselang, a major religious festival at Sibetan’s largest temple, Pura Pasar Agung.
Because the temple lies atop a small hill, the crowd had to navigate along a muddy, narrow road blanketed with cold mist.
Having waited for years for that festival — the last one was held 32 years ago, Kadek trekked along the path with burning enthusiasm.
He wore a traditional Balinese male costume, including udeng headgear, light make up, and his nails were painted glossy orange.
During the main ritual, Kadek was assigned to Bale Paselang, a six-pillar pavilion in the temple’s inner sanctum, and the main focus of the temple festival. There, he assisted High Priestess Ida Pedanda Istri Karang in preparing the offerings and the ritual paraphernalia.
“Finally I could contribute my energy and time to this religious festival. The fact that I was tasked with assisting the officiating high priest has clearly improved my social standing as a transgender,” he said.
His main task, and the one he was most proud of, involved decorating and dressing up the three statues inside the pavilion. Those statues represented the physical manifestations of the visiting gods. One was clearly a statue of a god, and the other one of a goddess. The most interesting statue was the third one, that of a god dressed in a woman’s costume. The statue also wore make-up.
For Kadek, the third statue was some sort of divine confirmation that transgenders have a place in the divine arrangement of the universe.
“I first found out about the existence of this ‘transgender’ deity two years ago when I visited the High Priestess’ house to learn about offerings,” he recalled.
Prior to the commencement of the temple festival, Kadek often visited the High Priestess’ house and spent time helping the local women make offerings for Bale Paselang. This had won him many friends and support.
“The essence of the Bale Paselang temple festival is love. It is also held to commemorate the time when the gods descended upon this earth to help mankind,” High Priestess Ida Pedanda Istri Karang said.
A noted Hindu scholar and executive member of the Hindu council, I Ketut Wiana, attended the ritual and believed the age-old festival offered important contemporary value.
“It is about gender equality and mainstreaming, about a harmonious and equal relationship between man and woman,” he said.
Wiana pointed out the third statue as the local interpretation of Ardhanariswara, an ultimate form of Lord Siwa, half god and half goddess.
Then he gazed at a sheet of white cloth that bore the images of Semara and Ratih hung in the Bale Paselang. In Balinese Hinduism, not one, but two divine beings are responsible for love and the spreading of love: the immortal couple of Semara and Ratih.
One of the highlights of the Bale Paselang festival was Majejiwa, during which a group of adherents performed a ritual enacting the dialogue between Semara and Ratih.
“All those symbols, offerings and ritual movements send us a clear message that man and woman complement each other and that only through an equal and mutually beneficial cooperation will they be able to achieve their objectives,” Wiana added.
Toward the end of the ritual, Kadek regretted not having brought a camera to record the festival.
“I want to document this festival and later on share pictures and the meaning [of this festival] with my transgender friends. A large number of transgenders in Bali are still hiding their gender orientation from their families,” he said.
Kadek once worked for GAYa Dewata, an NGO focusing on advocacy work targeting gay, lesbian and transgender communities in Bali. Now, he works for a government-run regional body for women and children’s protection in Karangasem.
The Bale Paselang temple festival was a revelation for Kadek.
“I never asked for this male physique. I know that in my soul, I am a woman,” he said.
A Sibetan farmer, I Ketut Patra, eloquently defined Kadek Astika/Dewi’s existence in the following way:
“There is day and there is night. Kadek is the twilight, and we all have to live with day, night and twilight on each and every single day of our existence.”
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